Welcome to the Machine.
My posting frequency has indeed been found wanting!
I’m just still getting into the whole school game. After all, this is my first time in school for a year!
Frosh
I have a lot of ‘real life’ sort of updates today (including some web ones, but let’s focus on me haha) and, despite the fact that Syd, my laptop is not yet back from the shop, I can type fairly well on this IBM, even though it sounds positively terrible. It’s on it’s last legs for sure. So, let us begin!
I have finally started school first of all, which is tons of fun in and of itself. I am officially a Philosophy student at the University of Ottawa! A grand school in our nations capital the campus is beautiful, and I’m still a bit haggard from ‘101 week’ which is what they call frosh week. I’m still a non-drinker (I hate the taste, though I have had a few drinks to keep the peace with some rambunctious drunk people), but it is so much motion, and so much meeting, that for someone like me it gets exhausting! I went to maybe half of the events.
Because I’m forcing myself not to be a social recluse here, as I usually am, my goal has been to find venues that I’m comfortable in and meet people, as well as trying to get to know people in my classes in an effort to if not find a ‘best friend’ have people that I could hang out with should I feel so inclined. So far I’ve had some moderate success in this — there’s a pretty nice looking guy in my Latin class who I talk to all the time, and a nice, albeit hyperish girl in my English class who has me in stitches the entire class.
I also try to go to the Thursday night Philosophy Discussion Groups, allowing me to observe people and their theories — this being the only venue that I drink at (if even this!) as we do hold it in the basement of a pub, and I get offered about thirty drinks a night, usually I pull what Andrew would call a ‘Sue Saunderson’ and accept one drink and nurse it all night. Normally I’d be all ‘fierce I don’t drink’ but I’m legal, and I find people get very standoffish and defensive if you just don’t drink, as if because you don’t drink you expect them to not drink. To be honest, I don’t really care too much, but it’s a subconscious thing, and I’d rather not have people be chilly towards me because of my choice. One beer over the course of about four hours once a week doesn’t really concern me too much. As far as I’m concerned it doesn’t even really count, I find I still have about half a glass by the time I leave, which someone else is more than happy to relieve me of.
Other than that, I don’t know if I mentioned on here, but I bought myself an electric guitar this summer! It’s a Seafoam Green Fender Squier, a good solid beginner’s instrument I hear, and I got it really cheap. Andrew provided an amp, and after getting some picks, a patch cord, and a headphone adaptor I find I can kill hours with it. I’m not really following a course or tutorial or taking lessons. In fact, usually I just dig up a tab, and try playing it until it sounds right. Mostly, though, I love to just sit, close my eyes and pluck the strings randomly and see what sort of sounds the thing can make, trying to come up with words for the sounds. If I didn’t have headphones I’m sure my room mate would commit suicide while I did this. Because it isn’t really music, just sound. So far my only accomplishment was finding a way to play power chords comfortably. While Dan showed me how to play them ages ago it was always a painful hyper extension for me, and I was worried my hands were simply too small for the instrument. Did I need a children’s guitar? God I would have lost it, after all, Andrew and Daniel always laugh, because I had to hold a PS2 controller with one hand hooked over the top to hit all the right buttons! Fortunately, after playing with the angle I held the instrument at, I managed to find a comfortable way to play power chords. All-in-all, I’ve really been enjoying learning to play the guitar, I’m absolute rubbish, and can only play things like ‘the intro to Daytripper, Smoke on the Water, and Smells like teen Spirit’ but it’s relaxing for me, and helping me with my goal of not always being on the internet.
My classes are all great except English. English is ‘essay writing’ and we’re currently reviewing nouns and verbs. Yes, seriously! In a University course I am learning that an adjective describes a noun. Other than that I have Philosophy Critical Thinking and Reasoning, History 1500s-1900s, Latin I, and Technical Theatre I. I’ll write more on my courses later, suffice to say, I’m in them, I enjoy them, and only two are big enough to be in lecture halls.
In my little web kingdom, I have (obviously) successfully moved hosts. My next steps involve filling the domain (still!) and changing the entry classification system (use a mix of tags and categories), moving Cursed onto a CMS so I’ll actually be inclined to update. It is my hope to get Cursed completely up-to-date with the finishing of the manga. I want it perfectly comprehensive so I can leave it alone. As well as a new layout. Next I want Loyalties to be a proper shrine, so it will likely also move onto a CMS. I’m looking at Chyrp, if anyone has any input on that. As Amber mentioned Wordpress is pretty heavy duty. Finally, Wonderland, and Enigma are my last two on my immediate to-do list.
Anyways, I do have more to add, like my need to get a job, my trials getting into a computer course, my deepest desire to take driving lessons, and how badly studying for my A+ Technician exam is going, but I need to get ready for Latin. Cheerio.
A small memorial
Rest in Peace Rick Wright.
All the best at the Great Gig in the Sky.
A moment of silence for arrogance.
This should be good, there’s about a 90% chance this blog will get lost in the abyss, when I move, but I’ve just had a hit of bitchy, and I can’t help myself. As for the contents of this blog, I’m not going to pretend I’m not just as guilty as the next guy on this one, but I just need to get some stuff off my chest.
Why is it that everyone on the Internet has such a healthy hit of self entitlement? Everyone seems to wield knowledge like a weapon, when it has so many other uses. It’s absolutely obscene to watch “help” forums on the internet. Are we all so small and petty that when someone asks for a minute of our time to give them a hand we slap them in the face.
And I know. I know, read my blog entries and people will get to thinking I actually have a heart because I’ve hit this topic before. My problem here though is that so much the snobbery today is people trying hard to emphasize their perceived “uniqueness” It’s a bit nauseating. I’m obviously not pointing any fingers, this is a by product of the hyperconnected society.
Throughout elementary school and high school you will be told a couple hundred times a day that you are completely unique. That no one on this entire planet is anything like you, and everything you do is special. I am very naive and I like to believe that to some degree this is true. I like to believe at our core we are each at least slightly different. As a Philosophy Major, I cringe at the words ‘I like to believe’ because as far as I’m concerned that’s code for ‘I can’t prove a damn thing’
The thing that troubles me is of course that for being ‘unique’ we sure as hell hate to act unique. And I know this rant has been given a million times: “Counter culture is culture, you dumbasses.” I’m a counter culture kid but at least I have the guts to call a spade a spade on this one. And as someone wise once pointed out to a very innocent me, who was trying to decide if she should get a tattoo for no good reason except that she would fit in with the other Goth kiddies “You are unique, just like everyone else.”
I love turning that sentence over in my head, it never fails to stop me in my tracks.
And I’m not surprised at the rise of depression, and, (in only the most shallow people), it’s links to goth, emo, or whatever other group you may be a part of. I have dealt with depression, I have been a goth, and to be fully honest about this all, I still like the goth lifestyle, and have no problems “gothing it up”. But being an insider looking in, as well as an insider looking out it’s so easy to see why we are the way were are today, this massive addiction to not being okay.
Look at it this way, on the internet pretty much everyone in the western world can instantaneously see almost anything they like about us. In this blog alone essentially anyone can read this entry (I mean, mind you they’d have to find it either by looking for it or happening upon it) but, for the sake of argument anyone who wants to know my thoughts on things can access them with ease. And despite my bellyaching it’s not all that difficult to do. In fact, dare I say it, anyone on the entire internet who views my website is more than capable of also making their own website, be it livejournal, geocities, or a domain, it’s not as though only the elite can throw together a website. Anyway now, unlike 10 or so years ago when the only people you had to tell about your life was your best friend now you can tell someone on the other side of the world about your life. In only a few mouse clicks. As soon as I click Publish to my right there this blog, too will be available to people across the globe. And this hypercommunication causes a bit of a problem.
Suddenly, the old phrase ‘you are unique’ starts to lose meaning, because at any given time I can find someone who feels the exact same way as I do. In fact, with the right keywords, I bet I could find someone who has written a journal entry with an extremely similar concept to this one. People can now look around and feel lost in the internet, their problems don’t seem that impressive and in many cases people even find that their problems are eclipsed by the problems of others. Sadder than you syndrome starts to form. People start to hope for, or lie about misfortune in order to command the attention of everyone, where before having your cat get hit by a car would earn you some sympathy, now your entire family has to be killed in a shoot-out to win you much attention. And, god, what people won’t do for attention. I’m doing it right now by writing this blog.
This massive selfishness wouldn’t be a problem if it didn’t lead to agressive flocks of people who think they are the most important people in the world. That what they have to say is a million times more important then anything anyone else could ever dream of saying. This self-importance easily turns fairly agreeable people into a popular phrase online today “attention whores”, though it also breeds “elitists” it really depends on the person. Elitists take out their need for attention on others, being agressive to people they believe to be below themselves, attention whores just try to make everyone pay attention to them, whether we give a shit or not.
Haaaa~~ Just needed to get some of that out.
May be some downtime
In order to save fistfuls of cash I am moving Empty Cage. If this all works well I may move Blue Heron Books too.
Using a Godaddy.com/ Surpasshosting.com combo will cost me around $68/year.
Network Solutions was costing $153.50 for the year.
$12.79 per month versus $5.67 per month… is there really a decision to be made.
Anyways, due to the logistics of this I may have some downtime, hope to see you when this is all resolved.
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