Empty Cage

Being a boring person is absolutely the pits. Yeah, here I am, blogging. But what was that whole firm resolve to post more frequently? That’s what I thought.

I’m being hired to do webstuff again, which is really nice, because my brain is about to go into rigour mortis. I miss the days when summer wasn’t the worst thing that could happen to me. Also maybe hired to write things. This could get messy.

And I’m back on that new domain name kick again. Maybe archive everything here now, and start afresh. Like, okay, keep it all because I’m a squishy sentimental freak, but try a blag without so much baggage.

Because there is some truly terrible stuff here. Like writing that I shouldn’t have committed to the webs. To be fair, I started this blog, what, three or four years ago — I was still a teeanger.

And Mad Hattery needs to be finished and not glossed over.

But at least I now have tumblr. Hah. Accomplishment. Not.

And finally we find the reason my blogging stems to a trickle after a few short weeks. I completely run out of interesting things to write about. I even run out of uninteresting things to write about leaving me in a pickle.

I know what I said about blogs with regards to ‘nothing’ but, I just thought I’d point out that the greatest obstacle to me being famous on the intartubez is the fact that I am an extremely boring person.

I think it’s interesting though, that I just updated my LinkedIn profile. It feels weird to be student, 22, and already fairly expected to have some sort of business related web presence. It’s like I’m finally entering the real world. I’m not going to harp on things like privacy and that sort of thing (how I have to hide my almost non-existent binge drinking photos from the internet) but more how much you are expected to show.

In this day and age people like to be able to have a pretty general idea of me before they meet me. Know what I look like, things that I’ve done, and more than one person has told me if I don’t have a profile on X site I should hang up my hat.

But oddly enough I think this is a good thing. Employers kicking your ass because you are an ass on the internet may not be kosher, but I think that in the case of a hiring situation having a picture of someone beyond their polished best ‘I will say what you want me to say so you hire me’ is probably a good thing. You’re giving a job to a person not to a set of credentials — otherwise what’s the point of an interview.

In more schizophrenic news, I tried MeeGo Linux and I owe you a review.

So, wonderful internet, I bet you’re a bit confused now given that I now have two domains: EMPTY-CAGE.NET and MADHATTERY.NET as my Godaddy CP loudly states. And you must be thinking: ‘Gee Kae, you really needed two domains to ignore that badly did you?’ I will of course then scoff at you, and probably very secretly hate you forever. No, not really, but as usual there is method in my madness.

For the past, say, six or seven months I’ve been at a bit of a web crossroads. I’ve been fairly self concious about my websites, my blogging style and all that. All the little projects I throw together and then ignore, fanlistings coming to mind, and basically all the experimental little things that clog Empty Cage. I’m an ideas person and when a good one comes along I jump on top of it and have been known to find the follow through difficult.

Any ways, recently I agreed to do some contract work with my friend’s website company since we being fellow philosophers like to complain about things like real jobs when he asked if there was any of my stuff that he could see, and I realized I was a bit bashful to show him anything since it’s all pitched together in thirty minutes for shits and giggles. It’s kind of gone down hill since Europe, hee hee. And so that’s when I decided it was time to divorce these two parts of my brain.

What will the split entail? Well, MadHattery is going to be taking my blog insofar as I am not talking about updating websites or learning strange new things about Enth3. It’ll have more ‘polished’ writing than EC ever suffered. I’m using polished here in a loose sense, it is still going to be my usual tongue-in-cheek self. It’ll also look really nice and be sort of a ‘resume type thing’ Basically Hattery is taking all my eloquence.

In return EC gets all of my fun, it’ll be what it’s always been. A bunch of hack-job websites that I update sporadically but love to pieces when I do. All old blogs will stay here and I plan on keeping this place pretty frequently updated with all the strangeness that grows on my brain. I’m actually looking forward to this split.

Basically, if you’ve never read one of my updates in the “internet” category and you actually have me bookmarked for that rare yet comical interlude I’m going to urge you to change your bookmarks to MadHattery. If you’re really here to see me build a character fansite that flops a few hours later stick around, more of that to come.

So this is not goodbye or anything like that, in fact, if anything I suspect this place is going to pick up.

I have blogger’s guilt.

Hardcore ‘I should use my powers over this small span of web wisely’ sort of blogger’s guilt. And I just got a job doing web related stuff is not helping since this place is shabby, derelict and really not my own design at all. I’m sort of sitting around for inspiration to percolate and its not really hitting like I had planned. To be sure there are things I want to write not the least of which involves verbally burning the school newspaper to the ground. Oh, Fulcrum, complaints about you make me happy.

Not the least of which it is two in the bloody morning again and I am trying to be coherent. I’m just going to make gurgling sounds for twenty minutes and hope that counts for a blog post.

Actually, what I’m going to do is set up Evolution to kick my ass every few days about this thing. Durrr-hurrr.

When people first hear about my job in a bookstore they get this starry far-away look and talk about how that it “probably their dream job, or something”. And every time I shoot whoever I’m working with a knowing smile and just say nothing. Sometimes looking pretty is the best you can legitimately hope for in such a situation. Of course, given I had permission to say what I thought on the matter my list might go something like this. (These are probably mutually exclusive to independent booksellers — support them damn you)

1. Just to dispel any initial illusions I have yet to meet someone in a bookstore who has time to read on the job. Ever. Maybe flip through a book, perhaps read the back but I don’t think a full novel has ever been read in a store whilst said store was open. And if you were reading, you’d better believe your coworkers are planning mutiny because they must be doing the work.
2. You will never meet someone with the same taste as you. No one will read a book you liked and agree with you, ever. This may be a problem exclusive to me ‘Little Miss American Psycho-Battle Royale-Fight Club’. But nine times out of ten you will be asked what someone should get for their 12 year old niece. (And none of the aforementioned books ever cut it)
3. To tie into that, you have to love every book ever even if the idea of it makes your skin crawl. Why? Because you must sell every book ever. Be all things to all people, let them know (in my case as diplomatically as you can muster) that Twilight is ‘a really hot seller’. And that ‘sure, you loved it, and would recommend it to anyone’ You cannot be sarcastic or mean about it. You have no idea how many veins I’ve popped telling people terrible books are wonderful. But you have to, because you’re a sales person. You can try to distract them with something less painful but this smoke screen has rarely helped my efforts.
4. Furthermore, you have to know everything about every genre. Which in turn, seems to require you know everything about everything. From Fantasy to… Sports. ‘What’s a good book on plants? Does it include detailed information on where to plant my hostas? What do you MEAN you don’t know?” Very few people will legitimately believe that you have not read every book in the store.
5. You must be open to the usual plight of one working in customer service and consent to being treated like an idiot every single day. This is sort of a general law, but I figured I should include it, just to remind you. At twenty you get treated no better in a bookstore than at McDonald’s.
6. There are more stupid labour detail intensive time draining jobs in a bookstore then any other place I’ve worked. Starting with receiving the books (which used to require typing every ISBN to cross our doorstep into the computer — and even occasionally all the the book’s information such as the title and author, we’ve advanced since then but not much), labeling each book (and not with just a generic label, a specific label is needed to be matched to each one), attaching special orders to the right books or shelving them. A hideously extensive process just to get the books on the shelves. You also have to do inventory yearly (which involves putting your hand on every book in the store), and a return several times a year (which involves also touching every book in the store as well as scanning and shipping out old inventory– ordeal doesn’t begin to describe it) We actually just finished a return which is why I am so bitter today.
7. Special Orders are always mayhem, and you will never have the right book in stock. The only person who will have the right book is sitting eating Cheerios in their little Belgian publishing house. Or it’s a self pub, or out of print, or out of stock indefinitely. Even though the customer KNOWS they saw it at Chapters yesterday. Or they really need it… tomorrow. And well, they don’t know the title or the author but they will kill the next twenty minutes of your time telling you all about the plot. Because, as I said earlier, you have of COURSE read every book in the store. And every book ever written.
8. This is not really part of the list of why you don’t want to work in a bookstore, but what the hell — Amazon wants to sell ad space in Kindle E-book Readers? Because my brain isn’t already permanently jelly-ized by the other millions of commercials I see daily. If I’m buying an e-book reader and a book then damnit, I don’t want advertisers blinking in the corner of my eye. Myself being a grumpy old man aside. What is with commercials at movies? I’m only paying 20 bucks so you can blind me with fifteen minutes of ads. Okay, grumpy old man REALLY aside now.
9. If they come in the store at five to close they are a browser. There is no exception to this rule in recorded history.
10. Sometimes you learn more than you want to about your customers when they decide to buy that copy of the Kama Sutra. And they are seventy. And they have a suspicious looking drugstore bag. And usually no teeth.

Okay, my momentum has died, but I think that’s a good start, don’t you?

I am always posting when I should be doing something else. In this case that something else is sleeping as it it 2:45AM and that is when the normal people generally get some shut eye. But good old Kae, she’s a bloody insomniac and therefore blunders through her entire life half asleep. Go Team.

I feel like I should blog more, but whenever I have an idea for a blog post it is when I am smack dab in the middle of doing something else. I mean, my life isn’t the hyper exciting rocketship ride it was in the UK, but, so what, I’m still living right. In many ways that trip was bad for me, I expect everything to be exhilerating in my life now and get all pissy when I have to do the same old. Or find a fucking job.

Speaking of finding a job, holy bloody fuck is it getting hard. People don’t seem to get that I could care less about the recession but everywhere has a hiring freeze. You just want to yell at them ‘Well, fuck, you may not be hiring but they are still going to charge me several thousand dollars next year to go to school.” I know it isn’t the fault of individual companies, but do people have to be so agressive when refusing my resume. Shit. I may need to go back to Ottawa where I have more options.

Speaking of which, I finished my first year of University April 30th, I had an exam 7-10 which was the last possible time slot, and it was my hideous math exam from hell. But so far I’ve passed all my courses with just my Criminology mark to come in. Woohoo. I finally got my minor together too, so I am now a Philosophy Major with a Computer Science Minor.

Because this entry is doomed to be schitzophrenic due to the early hour that I am unloading my brain I guess I can babble about music for a bit, I’ve been getting into even more grunge tunes, not sure why, but lately Hole, Melvins, Meat Puppets and Butthole Surfers are getting a lot of play time here. I am in love with Plateau by the Meat Puppets and Pepper by the Butthole Surfers (I know, the commercial underground forgive me gods of indie for I have sinned)

Anyways, I thought I could write more of an entry but I’m drawing a big old blank. So, more entries soon, but sleep now.

EDIT:

I confess — I have Twitter.

Just a quick one so I can wrap my head around this I need to do both online and offline:

• Get my hands on a guitar tuner — they’re only like $10 so procrastinating is not really worth it
• Call, or get mum to call the guy about my summer job
• Revamps on the following websites in the following order:
  • Finish off the last little bits of the Tim Fanlisting (Codes, About, fix mistakes)
  • Do the ShadowRO website
  • Do Empty Cage, new layout, put the focus on the blog aspect
• Move mum’s domain from Network Solutions to be hosted on my hosting plan, as well as make a new layout for her site
• Study for Math
• Get money order for room next year

Anyone else here look back fondly on their childhood and find when ponder growing up they simply think ’Wow, if I had known this was going to happen I would never have eaten my vegetables.’ I miss the days when summer meant doing whatever struck my fancy (within vague reason) and whenever I wanted to. If I wanted to sit on a computer all day I did, and if I wanted to run wild through the streets of Uxbridge, well, that was another option.

Now, my summers are like a preview to ‘the real world’, I wake up at some heathen hour, drive an hour, work all day, drive an hour home, and have no desire to live much less do anything productive, then sleep on edge, because I know the very next day I will be jarred awake at 6:30AM. Rinse, repeat, every day, all summer. Summer is really no more special than any other season to be honest, but our society have given summer standing above all for no reason

Go, winter, go!

Anyways, apart from whining about my job, I’ve been trying to pick my courses for Uni, but it looks like all my compulsory credit courses are filled in the fall semester, making me wonder if, perhaps, I’ll have one course in Autumn, and nine in the winter, which would not be cool at all. I have to call University of Ottawa and find out what I’m supposed to do. I’m hoping to get into a Latin course, and I think I’m the only one ever that finds the idea of one cool.

In the universe of web, I’m going to recode everything… and I mean everything. As well as hopefully update layouts as well and simply make Empty Cage able to make it part of the way through validation before it says ‘funk this’ My coding is abysmal! Thank god for Amber who is my Web Guru, and has been helping me all the way along. Hopefully one day E-C.NET will look pretty.

I forgot to update but Felicity (Fee) Worthington of the Gemma Doyle trilogy has a new (readable) layout, as well as codes, and some other small spiffy updates that make it look less like I threw it together in my sleep. I’ll even rewrite the content once I reread the books. Go look at it now, even if you don’t know what the heck I’m on about.

Job still blows.

I am at work. I was working up until a few minutes ago, when I finished and Rob (my boss) is nowhere to be found. I think he’s in a meeting. So, I’m working in a warehouse for my dad’s company, and let me make it perfectly clear, I did not and do not want this job. In fact, I would sorely like to pluck my own eyes out. I haven’t really had female contact in months, and no Andrew to bring out my feminine side (no, there’s nothing insulting about that, read it again). Everyone here is really pretty gangstahhh and no wonder, I’m in Scarborough… I seriously need some ‘peeps’ My job involved unpacking wireless access points (for large stores like Loblaws) labelling them, and scanning them. Rinse repeat. I’m supposed to learn how to progam these things eventually, but that’s taking a bit longer than planned. It’s an hour commute to and from work. I am not pleased. It’s nice to spend some quality time with dad in the car though. I guess. Albeit, not nice enough to keep the job, my eyes are peeled. $10/hour working 8-5… pain pain pain.

I have a new much loved band called ‘Mad Staring Eyes’ (look them up on mySpace — and while you’re at it visit Sean Dineley at Huck’s Fin) I got their album from a band member at Pearson International while I was picking up my bag, he asked me to come to his show, but I didn’t listen to the CD until yesterday so I missed them, now I’m disappointed! Hahaha! That’s where the entry title comes from by the way, it seemed oddly fitting.

I had my photos taken for some movie audition thing, it was most insane, the photographer was insanely complimentary, I often wonder if that is obligatory in photographers, flatter the hell out of everyone who comes near you. At any rate it was interesting to watch and participate in. They talked about how my face would work for a part if I had bigger bags under my eyes and I stopped just shy of saying ‘Give me a few more weeks at this job, and I’ll give you bags.’

Still no word from Jamie, I’m trying to decide if sending a second e-mail looks like obsession. I abhor crushes.

I almost worked on websites last night but I spoke to Samantha on MSN, and she happened to be playing Pokemon, and obviously I then had to get my DS, and I played it most of the night. So anyone looking for website updates, blame her! Not me!

I’m thinking of learning to play the acoustic guitar that has migrated into my room.