I’m going to now use text based images to explain to everyone something about my life, back in Canada everything seemed very much like the following line:
—————————————–
Notice, very static and unchanging, I could have lived life in my sleep and still gotten by pretty fine, here in England is a rather different tale, my line looks more like the following instead:
—–^v^v^v^——–^v^^^^^vvvvvvvVVVvv—-^^^^^—^v
(The ‘v’s being low points and the ‘^’s being high points)
I’m not used to this much variance in how things move about. I vowed to myself I would be optimistic this entire trip even if it killed me. I’m finding it difficult as this morning I found my beloved camera missing. I’ve visited most of the places I’ve been since then but to no avail. I guess that’s extremely hard to be optimistic about. I’m going to call Darlington, Middlesborough and Whitby stations as well as my Whitby Hostel and see if anyone turned it in on another leg of my journey, but I’m not holding out much hope. It’s just so bloody HARD to be optimistic about something like that, if it doesn’t turn up by the end of the week I’ll have to replace it, I’m sure there’s a silver lining SOMEWHERE I’m just not seeing it. What a way to kill a happy trip by the sea.
Anyways, minus the huge ragedisappointmentfuryetc at having a vanishing camera (I’m not going to say I’ll bet some arsehole stole it but…illbetsomearseholestoleit)… I might have an interview. I do have someone to call for an interview I did get the e-mail while I was in the North, I just hope the position isn’t filled yet. Right, optimism, the position isn’t filled yet and they are killing themselves for a Canadian for some reason.I’ll try to stop the sarcasm, and say they may or may not hire me, end of story. And called, as I type this and as usual ‘The Middle Way’ they’ve filled the position for right now, maybe in a month they might have space. Count backwards from 10 and breath, it’s a data entry job, not a huge deal.
I’m getting my bank card today finally, so I can put the scary, scary Visa I’ve been living off somewhere far away and hidden. Not that I have any real money, but it’s nice to know I can pretend and people won’t give me the ‘put away your silly Canadacards’ look.
I had the roommate from hell last night, she woke up every hour all night and loudly demanded the time, she smelt strongly of alcohol and she didn’t seem to understand that there were four other women in the room. SHE WORE NO PANTS OR UNDERGARMENTS. I nearly fainted. She slept deep into the morning while I was trying to find my camera and whined that I was making too much noise, while she snorted and sighed all night. Ugh!!
ON THE BRIGHTSIDE–
Which I am dead set DETERMINED to come up with now, I walked past Fleet street today while I was lost, and started humming part of the Sweeney Todd theme to myself and someone joined in my humming. ALSO, I still have my laptop, which I would die if someone stole. AS WELL, I AM IN LONDON. And while I spend most of my existence lost in this city there is so much to see and do. FINALLY! I am about to go out and eat, which should be enough to make anyone happy.
To my commentors who I didn’t reply to last time:
Bergberg! I’m trying not to! I’m a bit of an inborn personal stresser that comes from my mother as I’ve sure you’ve guessed.
Harvey! I actually transfered all of my York and about a quarter of my Whitby pictures onto my laptop so I still have a few photos to show off yet, I may get a disposable camera for now.
Kathleen McParland
February 22nd, 2008 at 11:01 am
I hope it’s not just meaningless that your mom’s cousin,me, a 49 year old suburban wife/mother/artist has an opinion about your big London adventure.
Stay with me Caitlin as this does , in some roundabout way, relate to you ( i hope).
I’m reading a book right now called A New Earth, Awakening to your Life’s Purpose by Eckhart Tolle. I’ve been struggling (feeling stupid) with the philosophical ideas in the book, but I think you’ve helped me understand the meaning of chapter two.
It’s about understanding the ‘ego’ and it’s need for things which we believe give us our identity. That is not who we truly are. Who we are is not defined by things (our religion, our friends, our clothes or hair colour, our cameras) If my understanding is right, then part of the reason you’re feeling a little lost in London is that you don’t have the comfort of the things around you that you think help define you. You are experiencing a truly raw,scary, exciting, new YOU. Your fear and sadness will turn into strength . I admire and envy you for giving yourself this experience. You are going to find out who you really are minus all the trappings. Embrace it…with all the fear, and all the unknown…and all the joy.
I hope this is the correct meaning of the book so far, and that it helps you in some small way understand what you are experiencing, and if it’s not and it didn’t, well…then….never mind.
Ta Ta
Kathy
Amber
February 22nd, 2008 at 11:08 am
Ohohoho. Give me a week, I’ll find the thief! And that loud drunken girl seems to be a bit off her rocker.. be sure to hide her key from her when she tries to come home next time she’s had a date with alcohol. XD It’s too bad reality can’t put a huge black square for a censor on things we don’t want to see!
Good luck, I hope you get the position. =)
the one and only ahca
February 22nd, 2008 at 7:18 pm
When ever your feeling down just remember how awsome i am and how much i love you!!! your kinda maybe a little awsome too..
have a better day tomorrow
pange
February 25th, 2008 at 10:21 am
Argghhh my comment that was so long totally just died and was not posted properly. Immense anger….anywho I