I guess the word I would use to describe how I feel right now is wistful. I think it was the second grade when I first looked that word up in a dictionary because I had stumbled upon it in a number of books ‘sad, as if longing for something’ and when I thought of the word I thought of a maze with invisible walls. You can always see the prize but the work to reach it is astounding. But let’s not make this an angsty entry.

Going abroad, I need to make some final comments on it, until I return next summer. And believe me, as long as I still have a good Visa I will be returning.

Going to the UK by myself in February has certainly been a learning experience. In fact, that’s what it was more than an job, holiday, or anything else I expected it to be. It was school for me, my remedial classes in life, and I needed them badly. As we can see by the trials, and triumphs.

The first thing, and likely most painful thing I learned is that sometimes the best friends you will ever make in your entire life you’ll meet once and never again. You have to accept this or you’ll go crazy. For all the contact details I’ve accumulated, I’ve only got a fraction of the people I’ve met. And of those I do have most will drift away, even if they are people who I will never make better friends with.

I’ve learned that courage is a rare and valuable virtue, and the valour is something irreplaceable in humankind. And you have to live with as much bravery as you can. You have to be shameless in throwing yourself into life or you lose so much in the experience. I hope I have enough courage to make my life one of greatness.

I’m so jetlagged, I can’t seem to get the rest of this entry out.

Excuses, excuses.

At any rate, as a vain stab of hope I e-mailed most of the major London museums yesterday begging them to consider me. I plan to e-mail a few outside of London too. My vain hope continues! Though I also plan to apply at jobs I might actually get, like, office work and retail positions. Though bookstore-retail not Staples-retail. Nothing says bad six months like having the ESP ghost hovering dangerously around my shoulders. Speaking of Staples, I’m disappointed, the four dollar (no dollar sign on my keyboard anymore– haha.) calculator I bought there not more than a week ago had already broken. It is displaying sixes as eights, and eights as eights, so you kind of have to guess whether the number you’re looking at is £600, or £800… a huge difference, let me tell you. (Yes, I was budgeting last night)

I actually walked from my hostel to BUNAC, I didn’t get too lost, it took about an hour and 45 minutes, which is huge considering it’s only a few stops away on the tube, but I got to see the London University Campus, as well, I’m getting more of an idea where things are in this city. It’s amazing how old and new just blend together so easily here. You’ll see some buildings with really contemporary fronts have ancient tops to them. It’s quaint, in a fun kind of way. Londoners seem to be nothing but friendly too, being bitter on my first entry I never mentioned that I never had to carry my huge bag up or down huge flights of stairs, someone was always kind enough to offer. I’m really loving the atmosphere here. I have yet to have anyone comment on my accent, I keep hoping they will.

I’ve met a few people, as I said. Addy from the night before last, the french girl and the hungarian from my hostel, as well last night a woman from Hong Kong was in my room (Addy had left the morning before). Again, I got a chance to try one of my foriegn languages, and I spoke a bit of Japanese with my new Hong Kong friend. All I need is a chance to try my German! I met two people at orientation, Lydia, from the States whom I hung out with for lunch and got my phone with. And Kate, who I hung out with most of the evening, from the States as well. It was a very amusing experience to say the least, we wandered the streets of London for ages then headed out for dinner. I still haven’t gone anywhere too touristy.

Its so hard to remember what I have written here and what’s in my paper journal!

And I got the Mrs. Lovett fanlisting, thanks completely to insert name here, whom I love like no other and shall cling to as soon as I get my flat.

That’s all I really have for right now, apparently comments still aren’t working? I’ll tool around with them more today while I have more time. Love you all!

P.S. Happy Valentines Day — is it really the 14th already?