Normally I take out this kind of inclination on a writing forum I am a (disturbingly) active member on, but recently I have been a little reluctant to post there, possibly because current ideas are going vastly beyond the scope of the boards and I really don’t want them to have to deal with me. Besides which, I have a certain level of power there and so I feel more responsible for peacekeeping than enjoying myself.

But that, my beloved audience, in neither here nor there. The problem is the usual one, I want to write and then I suffer author’s ADD and cannot write anything that makes sense.

I have always had a lot of trouble focusing my writing into that razor point that fiction demands. I write vignettes like a fiend, and have had many a haiku phase (despite the fact that I am incapable of writing poetry that doesn’t make me embarrassed to show my face after a few months) but writing anything longer than four or five pages and I lose steam and/or inspiration. It’s maddening, though I suppose the alternative is almost as bad. I mean, god, I do not want to be one of those twenty-somethings with a novel. Honestly, I’m a philosopher. But I’m also a writer and it’s weird that despite the volume of writing I do not of it ever amounts to anything.

I have, for the past year become a raving Bret Easton Ellis fan, and I feel like his writing style is where mine would go if I earned my Attention Span Girl Guide Merit Badge. Sort of incoherent and scary because its dishevelled. My mother (yes internet, she also thinks I’m cool) has often told me my best writing is blog-style writing. This from the hip informality I’m currently taking now, yes, right this very second. And she may be on to something, my so called “polished” writing gets this really plastic feel to it.

Or, not even, what’s a goth word for plastic? Uhm… vinyl? Whatever, its this fake macabre stuff that every half assed eye liner wearing bugger vomits out when she’s feeling her emo tears getting heavy. I lose my charm when I don’t just vomit this stuff out as I go. Charm of course being that rough, snarly sort of personality that draws everyone to me. It’s why maybe if I wasn’t so disdainful maybe journalism would accept me for who I am.

Still no layout on this place. Hurrrrr.

However, I just thought I’d point out how STUNNING my new digs are thanks to a stunning Christmas gift from Amber! She’s also my new hostee, hosting Dark Rose on top of Empty Cage.

Love her. I demand. Any ways, back to studying, be back soon!

Just freaking WATCH me.

I really wanted to get my website back up though, and so you’ll have to wait until tomorrow for actual content.

Nirvana now owns a very special part of my soul.

I’m actually writing content right now which should impress and amaze at least some of you. Though I need to start walking to work soon or I’ll be late. Just thought because I’m so proud I can puff up my little chest by posting to myself.

By the way — I LEAVE FEBRUARY 11th! Horrah!

Now you may be asking what it is that makes this perhaps the most difficult coding webdesign job ever, despite the fact that it’s not a far cry from my usual digital fare. I’ve been a fan of the two column divs since they were new and hip. (As they are no longer cool, I here CSS has taken over…) Well the crucial difference lies in two places.

First, it is compatible with Mozilla Firefox which, though many of my others technically are they are all complete flukes. This one I worked HARD for all you Firefoxians, so I demand your love and appreciation. I even sacrified a bit of spacing on the comment box in IE for you!

Second, I integrated WordPress into this layout, while it sounds like a happy jaunt in the park do not let that decieve you. I have never known digital agony like WordPress integration, you’d think it was brain surgery at some points. Maybe I’ll write a tutorial now that I know how its done. I used a combo of four or five tutorials while tearing a WordPress theme apart. Not-bloody-fun-let-me-tell-you!

So, I’m getting my plane ticket tomorrow, which was the real reason I was so anal about getting the blog potion of my website up so quickly. People on my side of the pond will want to witness my exploits I imagine, as well as see the hundreds of pictures I will undoubtedly take. I’m both excited and nervous about the whole thing, it’s such a huge adventure though and I cannot help being overjoyed at the mere thought!

For my websiting, everything will be getting an overhaul, starting with the main page, then moving into Cursed, and followed, most likely by Bloodlust. I hope to get a bit of work done during the delirious phase of having my wisdom teeth torn from my head, I have some new websites in the works because of the revolting ammount of space I have.

Speaking of which, any friends, family or acquaintances who are looking for a sizable chunk of webspace to put a dash of god-only-knows-what on I have I think four subdomains avaliable. So, I can host a few people… and seriously… space is of no concern right now.

Those of you with websites already, let’s link ^_~

In conclusion, I’m actually working on websites now, which is a huge switch from the usual “I’ll get to it… later.” I got through the hard stuff, so now it’s just filling like there’s no tomorrow.