Empty Cage

Who’s stressed?

Woo! Kae’s stressed!

Whose websites all (like every single one, baby) need serious attention and redesign so they don’t look like ass.

You’re looking at it baby!

… Yea, it’ll happen. I have been working on EC, but I really need to get my act together and dooo it. I have just been very uninspired.

P.S.

Now hosting Josephine <3

I haven’t written a ‘heartfelt’ blog since I returned from the UK, so I guess, here’s one. It should be brief because I have things I need to get done today and a whole pile of documentation to write for my mother with regards to her website.

I guess the title of this entry should say it all — or most of it at least. I’m standing on the edge of a number of things right now, and I’m still not sure how comfortable I am with the whole situation. School is obviously the biggest one, as I’m watching the frantic days flutter by I wonder what the hell is going to happen to me come August 30th.

And there’s been nothing but hassles getting into school, it is absolutely mental all the stuff I’ve had to do — you’d think after paying several thousand dollars they’d be able to hire enough people to not make this a nightmare. Currently I’m in two random courses just so I’m “billed properly” which, I have to admit scares me. They’re more concerned about my billing than me actually being in courses I want to be in. Soo… Ancient Greek civilisation and… Chinese… here I come. And for the record, I don’t know a word of Chinese, so, this should be fun. The Greek course, despite my love of history, doesn’t really hold my intrigue at all. So there you have it, good thing I’m being billed properly.

Motherdear also insists I take an essay writing course, which makes me want to throw up in my mouth a little. Despite my major I’m taking two Philosophy courses and three English ones.

Bah.

I have more to say, but work to do.

But Andrew came over and I had to fix Cathy Goldberg’s computer! How was I supposed to update, huh? By magic? Eh? Eh?!

I love hardware repairs way more than software ones, with hardware at the end you can say ‘Yes. This is fixed. There is a taste of minor triumph.’ With software… well, now you’re dealing with the ‘ghosts in the machine.’ Which I think would be a pretty cool thing to haunt to be honest. Typing cryptic messages every few days, causing myself to implode. Other nefarious misdemeanors… I’d be worse than Y2K! (Which was a bit of a let down with regards to the collapse of the universe)

Will I update tonight? Maybe.

It’s my broski’s birthday, and I should probably be nice to him as I can’t really afford to get him anything. Oh, my dear bother… that was a typo, I did indeed mean brother. He’ll be seventeen, which I find kind of scary, he’s getting so big and grown up and totally can and will push me around at random.

I still need to pick my courses for school, but I need to call the university because according to their website all of the compulsory classes I need to take are full. Hmn. My old manager Al said he’d help hook me up with a job at Staples Ottawa, so that takes care of the fact that I have no money at all. My residence is amazing, I can hardly wait to move in with my… double bed and cable TV. BWAAHAHAHAHAH! I don’t even have that in my room at home.

I have a new chapter to upload for Whitechapel, which I will get to soon, I’ve just been so preoccupied with work and life, and have started a new (hopefully) short story about a rockstar. (It sucks less than in sounds like it should I promise) So I’ve been actively writing, a lot of my usual philosophic rants in my paper journal mostly.

In the merry land of websites, obviously my priority is fixing this place up to a serviceable level again, I finished the Sakaki Haruto Fanlisting though (and already it needs a new layout), and totally GOT APPROVED FOR THE CHESHIRE CAT FANLIST!! yey. Book and Movie Characters, not animation, which strikes me as odd that they are two separate but whatever. The small webshrine I was going to be making for the Cheshire Cat receives new furvor, in fact, I may apply for American McGee’s Alice — The Cheshire Cat too just because I am that addicted. No word on the Magical Mystery Tour yet. Albums said they would update this week though, so we’ll see. Loyalties will be getting fixed up soon. My other websites — Ruins is going to be born as I need something Angel Sanctuary, and I’m going to upload all my info on Umbreon for Enigma like I should have done months ago. Cursed also has an update coming in the near future as I prepare to get it fully up to date, as, for those who are yet unaware, the Inuyasha series has finally finished. Loyalties is also looking for an update, and Bloodlust is teetering but may be turned into a Shougo Kawada shrine before the day is out (despite my Sugimura love Shougo would be much more interesting to write about I think)

For OTHER people’s websites, Justin if you still exist, and even read my blog anymore I can make Twilight RO a new layout, last I checked your domain was down, but if you ever read it, I can redo. Blue Heron Books is going to be made less ugly and updated to use Word Press. And finally, Shards will be finished hopefully before CN Anime….

Anyone else here look back fondly on their childhood and find when ponder growing up they simply think ’Wow, if I had known this was going to happen I would never have eaten my vegetables.’ I miss the days when summer meant doing whatever struck my fancy (within vague reason) and whenever I wanted to. If I wanted to sit on a computer all day I did, and if I wanted to run wild through the streets of Uxbridge, well, that was another option.

Now, my summers are like a preview to ‘the real world’, I wake up at some heathen hour, drive an hour, work all day, drive an hour home, and have no desire to live much less do anything productive, then sleep on edge, because I know the very next day I will be jarred awake at 6:30AM. Rinse, repeat, every day, all summer. Summer is really no more special than any other season to be honest, but our society have given summer standing above all for no reason

Go, winter, go!

Anyways, apart from whining about my job, I’ve been trying to pick my courses for Uni, but it looks like all my compulsory credit courses are filled in the fall semester, making me wonder if, perhaps, I’ll have one course in Autumn, and nine in the winter, which would not be cool at all. I have to call University of Ottawa and find out what I’m supposed to do. I’m hoping to get into a Latin course, and I think I’m the only one ever that finds the idea of one cool.

In the universe of web, I’m going to recode everything… and I mean everything. As well as hopefully update layouts as well and simply make Empty Cage able to make it part of the way through validation before it says ‘funk this’ My coding is abysmal! Thank god for Amber who is my Web Guru, and has been helping me all the way along. Hopefully one day E-C.NET will look pretty.

I have been planning a new layout for this place but I cannot come up with how I want it to look, so I’m sitting here being a bit crippled. This layout makes me want to be back in the UK, and even if I consider it the best layout I have ever made it’s still a bit awkward to keep it up now that I’m back in Canada.

I’ve been so restless lately. So awkward coming back to this place.

I’m back in Canada.

I guess the word I would use to describe how I feel right now is wistful. I think it was the second grade when I first looked that word up in a dictionary because I had stumbled upon it in a number of books ‘sad, as if longing for something’ and when I thought of the word I thought of a maze with invisible walls. You can always see the prize but the work to reach it is astounding. But let’s not make this an angsty entry.

Going abroad, I need to make some final comments on it, until I return next summer. And believe me, as long as I still have a good Visa I will be returning.

Going to the UK by myself in February has certainly been a learning experience. In fact, that’s what it was more than an job, holiday, or anything else I expected it to be. It was school for me, my remedial classes in life, and I needed them badly. As we can see by the trials, and triumphs.

The first thing, and likely most painful thing I learned is that sometimes the best friends you will ever make in your entire life you’ll meet once and never again. You have to accept this or you’ll go crazy. For all the contact details I’ve accumulated, I’ve only got a fraction of the people I’ve met. And of those I do have most will drift away, even if they are people who I will never make better friends with.

I’ve learned that courage is a rare and valuable virtue, and the valour is something irreplaceable in humankind. And you have to live with as much bravery as you can. You have to be shameless in throwing yourself into life or you lose so much in the experience. I hope I have enough courage to make my life one of greatness.

I’m so jetlagged, I can’t seem to get the rest of this entry out.

Excuses, excuses.

Well, I guess now is the point in which I finish talking about my trip and talk about my homecoming. Home… such a relative term. Any ways.

At Munich I also toured Dachau, the other concentration camp on my mission. I took a guided tour and it wasn’t quite as moving as Sachausen, but I learned a whole heap more about sort of what when on in the camp itself. On the whole Munich was a pretty average place to visit. I would recommend it to people who actually drink unlike yours truly.

Keyboards in Germany are bizarre. The letter ‘Y’ and the letter ‘Z’ are actually switched, so it was nearly impossible for me to type anything. In Munich I met an Aussie lady travelling actually with her daughter, I tried to imagine how that would go for me and my mom, and who would try and drown whom first in the beer garden.

There were some other strange things in Germany though, like every cup has a line on it to show exactly where, say o.4 litres is so they don’t accidentally give you too much soda, as well, most bathrooms have an automatic seat cleaner, which, after you flush, wipes down the seat with what looks like a wet napkin. So strange, and yet, so German. My German was terrible as expected.

My thoughts are scattered again, so apologies for another entry that seems disconnected, my mind is missing today. I’m just so… But nevermind.

From Germany I went down to Italy, stopping in a small Austrian town in the Alps. It was pretty, but we only stopped there half an hour. I think it was called St. Johannes or something. Regardless, very picturesque… but of course… I have no pictures of it.

Yea, my second camera was stolen in Venice. Go me. Ugh.

Anyways, Venice was quite interesting, but beautifully terrifying. When they say you ‘get lost in Venice’ this is not some sort of romantic sentiment, this is cold hard fact. You will get lost in Venice. I went into the city thinking I’d spend two or three hours just chilling in the city — seven hours later when I found the train station again. Haha. But yea, camera with all of my pictures from the trip… gone. Figures.

Venice is stange and terrifying with an hundred small streets and alleys the walls are all high so it’s almost impossible to navigate properly, and with all the mask shops and other rather eerie looking places it really is a bit of a creepy city. Though it is interesting to go into a shop and see some Italian painting a mask right there on the front counter. Seriously, genuine Venetian or what? I wish I had someone to talk to in Venice though because I felt very alone the whole time. My Visa stopped working for awhile whilst I was there too, thus leading to a little unbridled terror for one of my days in Venice.

The ‘hostel’ in Venice was actually a camp site, right by the airport. Yes, all night it was awesome all you could hear was ‘VAROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!’ of the airplanes going overhead. And, my room mates who left on the first day left something rank in the room. Venice was, on the whole a place I was a bit uncomfortable in. I want to go back, but not alone, which is odd for me.

From Venice I hit Rome which was a bit on the surreal side I have to admit. Oh, look, there’s the Coliseum, and… the Forum… and the Pantheon… and a hundred amazing buildings and… well let’s face it, the city oozes awesome from it’s ancient pores. Seriously, if walking London is like walking a novel, walking Rome is like walking a history text book. Who knew the Pantheon was now a Christian church, because I certainly didn’t. Seems, I don’t know, ironic or something.

Vatican City was impressive to say the least, so extravagant, sort of like Versailles, where you sit there thinking no wonder it couldn’t last forever without some serious trouble. I even got to see the real version of my favourite painting, ‘The School of Athens’ by Raphael. And the pope paid for my lunch. Indirectly of course.

I go to the cafeteria and pick up a modest lunch, noting that they take Visa, as to be honest I never had more than 5 Euros cash all through Italy, anyways, I go to pay and wouldn’t you know it, the Visa machine isn’t working. I ask where the nearest ATM is, and she says there isn’t one in the Vatican. I’m starving and probably look it, because she mutters something in Italian and runs off, coming back with a manager looking guy, and they basically say ‘Go eat.’ so there we are free lunch.

Okay.

Sorry this entry is lacking my usual charisma, but my heart isn’t really in it right now. I really want to relate all these stories to you properly, but I’m so dejected about returning to Canada just opening up WordPress seemed unapealing to the point of nauseating.

Now everyone’s mad because I don’t want to come back, but it’s not the people I don’t want to come back to. It’s that I’ve fallen for this stupid country quirks and all. Everything from the robolady on the Chyuuube, to driving on the wrong side of the road, to the lifts. And I love all you nutty Canucks back home, but this is the place I feel like I should be, and leaving it is hard.

Back to packing.

I have 20 minutes to update all of you on what I have been doing for the past week now. And it hasn’t exactly been the most laid back week of my life.

I left Scotland last Sunday or Saturday (can’t even remember anymore) with a tragic good bye to Jamie and Derek, and to Steve in spirit I imagine, I returned to Milton Keynes to get my act together.

Starting laaaast… Monday I guess I was on a plane to Amsterdam, in the Netherlands for the precious few who have not made it their life’s goal to go to Amsterdam. And what on Earth can I really say about Amsterdam that hasn’t been said before? If you’re as straight laced as I am (secret high five for Amber here) you cannot help but feel a twinge nervous about the idea of Amsterdam, even if the city itself is very nice. It won’t surprise most to know that very few people who are actually from Amsterdam smoke, it’s mainly the idiot tourists.

Highlight of the visit was the Anne Frank house where I felt it was safe to let my guard  down a little (in all honesty who is going to drug me in the Anne Frank house?) it was interesting, but, like Versailles most of what I saw was the back of another tourist’s head. I went to the house after the New Europe free walking tour ( I love these tours — and not only because they are free but it helps) So, I did technically see the red light district. Technically. I spent the day hanging out with a British guy, who was quite awesome to be honest.

Amsterdam is Andrew’s city, drugs and bicycles. ( I love you too, Shiny.)

From Amsterdam I took a day trip to Brussels, and quickly discovered… there’s nothing to DO in Brussels. Seriously, give me one reason to go to Brussels besides to chocolate?  Ah? I win.

From Amsterdam I jetted off to Berlin which was amazingly awesome, now when I read history books and they talk about somewhere in Berlin I can actually draw up a memory and not just use the gigantic mental substitute of ‘somewhere in Europe’ Berlin was pretty in such an interesting way, plus they do memorials like no one’s business. The one to the burnt books was especially dramatic, and the holocaust memorial, it was like something you cannot describe. You have to go there and experience that.

Because I’m in a rush now with my clock at 10 minutes, I have to tell you about Sachausen concentration camp at a later date. Needless to say, it was the single most powerful experience of my life so far and literally a human turning point for me. My entire life has been altered by this one day. Scary, isn’t it?

Berlin to Munchen (or Munich if you spracken englisch) I was let down by Munich mostly because I wanted to see Prague or Vienna more but it didn’t happen like that. It was a very impressive city regardless, what with it’s Glockenspiel.

And, okay, this entry will have to be postponed as my clock is about to run out.To be continued (dun dun dunnnnn)

Sweeney will not be coming out here until May 15th… Seriously, What the hell? It was set here!

And they have the GALL to call this western civilisation. Frontier territory, that’s where I am… I mean, what do they have to do? Translate it?

However, they do have literally shelves of the Battle Royale movie. No seriously, I have a photo. In the first section of HMV there were several shelves with Battle Royale on them. Definite shock there — thus I actually did take a picture.

I’m so bored and lonely. Honestly, only old people in my hostel, again I say, YOUTH hostel, not old-bloody-age home! I just need someone to spend some time with, you know, lone ranger skit is nice but complete isolation is going to have me chatting up a volleyball.

Hey! I’m alone on an island! It could totally happen!

Possibly Liverpool on the weekend. I should do my Beatlemania thing and past-stalk the Beatles. Maybe I’ll do Abbey Road tonight to get myself warmed up.

The noisy Aussies who hated me, the Indian who was probably  too ill to be in a hostel that night as she made the most amazing sounds from the moment her head hit the pillow until she woke up, the pant(and trouser!)less wonder, Team God Bless America… you certainly meet interesting characters in hostels. Then you meet people like KiwiClare, HottieMcScotland, and ‘I’m not in Mississippi anymore’, and suddenly you remember that hostelling isn’t really all that bad.

HOWEVER. I am going to KILL my only room mate this week. KILL HER WITH KNIVES. Call my BFF Jack, teh rippxxorzxcorelollerskates.

But seriously.

This woman is probablyyyy about 60 something or 70 something. Therefore lulling you into a false sense of security. You’d THINK it would be me pissing her off, after all, I am a strapping teenager full of vitality and life.

But no. Not at all in fact, night one, I politely introduce myself and say ‘I have to sleep now, I need to work tomorrow’ Does she shut up? No! Is it general chatter? Nope! Specific questions that I feel obliged to answer in the interest of peace in the hostel? Abso-bloody-lutely!

Now, generally speaking, talking too much is forgiveable in a hostel, last night is why I want to kill her.

I go to bed nice and early after talking to Stacey on the phone, I notice her bags and stuff are still around but she’s not in yet, I figure I should sleep any ways ‘Hostel Law number five hundred and twenty four states if thou gets to thy hostel after thy first person in the room falls asleep thou shallt get thy shit together silently in the dark, in the mercy of our lord, the manager’ Which I assume she does, because I didn’t wake up when she came in.

It’s not until she turns her radio on at 3:55AM that I wake up. A talk show. First assumption is it’s a mistake, or some kind of seriously funked up alarm system, as the topic of discussion seems to be rice. Then I hear the volume and station being adjusted slightly, to eliminate static.

I am floored by this. As I try to decide if it is quiet enough to sleep through I decide I am too indignant to even try. I try to subtly get across the fact that I am no longer sleeping, by conciously tossing, and sighing. No avail. So I growl over my shoulder, ‘You mind turning that down a bit?’ She offers a gloomy half-arsed apology and turns it off. As though I am putting her out. Hello? It’s 4 AM, don’t funking mess with me.

YHA, Youth Hostel Association my…

Anyways! Ireland!

I was surprised at how ‘hardcore’ Dublin was. I imagine it has a much ‘younger’ population in London. I arrived after about 45 minutes on a plane and met up with Marilyn. Every sign is in Gaelic and English! My room at Marilyn’s was preeetty much like a hotel room (needless to say I was pleased)

Our day around Dublin was awesome, I managed to get all my touristy stuff down. The Book of Kells, Trinity Collage, and of course I am physically unable to enter a city and not see the official museum. And NOTHING makes you feel like a bad person for being English like an Irish museum. You know, every atrocity EVER was committed by the British. EVER. Nazi Rule? The Royal Family is German! You kind of feel like putting on an Irish accent just in case. The surname… uhm… O’Bagg… yes, that’s me, Caitlin O’Bagg, and of COURSE Caitlin spelt with a C and an I what do you think I am? British?

The worst part is I am Irish and I still felt bad.

After doing Dublin Marilyn took me out to the countryside to see the lambs. I nearly died of adorable overload. Especially the little black one, I relate to the little black sheep. I am the little black sheep.

Sunday was… amazing.

We went to this castle ruin. Only it wasn’t a ‘popular’ castle ruin, so I had the whole castle to myself. It was breathtaking, and to be the only one there. On the way down Marilyn and I met up with a local. I think he said he was going to be doing an archaeological dig there, but I didn’t understand a word with his thick accent and the speed he was talking.

We also went to a monastery and cemetery which I would have appreciated so much more if I wasn’t still in awe of the castle.

To my commenters:

Ange, some of the Hardcore Irish boys were pretty swoonable. My joke was most amazingly amusing! My jokes always are! You said so! You have to stop hanging out with me if my jokes stop being funny! You are ultra fabby (my Britishism) Huzzah!

Daniel, Do comment more, or I’ll set… Dana on you!

From the last entry:

Emmadawn, I needed you and your ‘le 1337 (un-trois-trois-sept) skillz francais’ in Paris. I was so happy getting to see Jim <3

If you want to send me le mail de escargot you can send it here:

16 Bowling Green Lane,
London,
EC1R 0QH

And I will get it <3

Bwahahah on the evil Yellow faces which I’m still trying to figure out how to disable.

To Crystal, I know D= I misses real internets

To Amber, I have a few pages for you to start with, how many do you want at once?

To Mah, no only dead people I hero worship get that sort of love. Syd’s next.