Empty Cage

My last entry was so rushed it doesn’t make a word of sense, so sorry to everyone, I had very little booked internet time left when I started it. I’m now on the final leg of my journey from Whitby back to London, but I guess I need to start at getting to Whitby. I am able to write this because my train from Darlington to London offers free internet access.

Last time I wrote to you all I was in York, I was having a particularly miserable day, and plotting my starring role in ANGST! the musical. Feeling frustrated, I walked around the town and found myself sitting on the steps of York Minster and I just thought for awhile in the damp Yorkshire cold that sends deep into your bones and finally decided this trip is what I make it. And it was time to make it something incredible and memorable, I have money, I have a lot of money, I left Canada with a lot of money. I will be perfectly fine.

It was then I decided to go to Whitby.

It had been on my mind for awhile, but I finally made a resolute decision to go to Whitby. Why Whitby? Probably something to do with that goth-Dracula thing, and maybe wanting to see the sea, looking out and seeing the way home. Whitby was nice, the whole area smelt of fish and chips, and my hostel was the old abbey house at the top of the famous 199 steps where Mina sees Lucy with Dracula for the first time.

Everyone in Whiby was friendly, they all smiled and didn’t give me the infamous ‘North American Stare’ the one that usually involves a lot of disdain. They just smile in a polite manner which you fumble along. Internet access was a sweeping ten pound an hour, so I decided you guys could wait a few days to hear from me.

The trip from York to Whitby was absolutely astonishing. It was like going back in time, tufted green grass, punctuated by sheep, ancient walls and small farm houses. Picturesque, really.

P.S.

I never wrote on the British Museum. It was like heaven, my own personal Mecca. I could hardly contain some wave of emotion after seeing the real rosetta stone right there in front of me. I felt like I was going to have to die happy right there. It was the most amazing place I had ever been before in my life. And I only arrived there two hours to closing!

No, I didn’t do the Viking thing, I did that last time. However, I did tour the outside of minister and all of the cool little shops in the area. I was very, very stressed today for no reason, so I talked to the family a lot. As painful as it is to my pride to admit they are right, I have to calm down and actually enjoy at least some of this trip. I mustn’t forget that the UK is beautiful in all my insanity about getting a job.

And finally, some pictures for you all — maybe in a second, depends on if my internet lasts long enough to upload them.

Three big days in a row and I have yet to report on either of them. I am currently at YHA in York. I am ticked at the YHA of course, I get here tired and lost and the front desk guy asks if I want an YHA membership, as usual, I say no and of course he slides in ‘yourroomisanextrathreequidanight’ aha! The catch, doing the math if I pay the three pound a night I’m still only one pound off, but, if I decide to extend my visit then it’ll be worth it, and I can stay at a YHA hostel when I get back into London. It’s just hysterical that last little grab at money. I got a twenty-four hour internet voucher for today and tomorrow, so that I’ll be set until I go back to London. I have to go to London whether a get a job here or not unfortunately because my luggage is still in London.

But let me start at the beginning here, the day before yesterday I died and went to heaven. I went to the Mecca of History nerds; I was at the British Museum, oh my god. It was like heaven, I almost burst into tears of joy when I saw the real Rosetta stone, it was beyond the most amazing thing I had ever seen, one slab of rock that his taught us immeasurable things about the past—it makes me giddy just thinking about it. I had barely scraped the surface of the Egypt exhibit before closing time because I must have gotten lost about a hundred times before I got there. I cannot even come close to describing the sheer joy of being in that museum. Man, I am such a bloody nerd. I plan on going back and actually taking some pictures because the first time around I decided I wanted to look first. I’ve been trying to live my trip and not spend as much time snapping all the sights as I did last time. I only pull my camera out if I am really inspired. I’m sure I’ll need it when I walk York Minster tomorrow. While I do plan on dropping off CVs here I’m treating York like a bit more of a Holiday. I like my prospects of getting a job in London much more than York. I do love this town though; it’s beautiful, like living in a medieval village. I spent five hours on a bus today getting here, I should hope I like it.

The scenery around York is much prettier too; it’s a very tranquil town. Walking to my hostel was a bit of a drag though, it’s about a mile from the train station and I didn’t know what bus to take and so I walked it instead, overshot it by a lot and then was helped by an old lady who seemed to have a half German half Yorkshire accent. I have reason to believe she was both the loneliest lady in the world and a touch senile. She insisted on talking to me until her bus came, and then got the bus driver to take me there. I felt very awkward, but she was very interested in Canada and kept asking if I was sure I wanted to stay at the hostel. I was a touch sketched out, so I declined several times. I’m sure she was perfectly lovely, but all I had wanted to know was if I was going the right way! I’ll be hitting the streets tomorrow, but I think I know my way back here. This hostel is much nicer than the other one there seem to be more families and older people here than at ISH.

It’s hard to avoid being a bit disheartened, despite the fact that I’ve really only been job hunting five or six days, and only looking for actual retail jobs since yesterday. I had been relying on job boards and job websites, when really it’s probably more about just applying at places like HMV, Virgin records, Borders and W.H. Smiths, the big music and book chains. I don’t know, I just miss my family and friends now I think. That or I’m getting really nervous about not having a job.

And to my commentors

Mom, I’ll talk to you on the phone, the cover of the book in the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the galaxy is ‘Don’t Panic’ and I’m going to give that a try.

Amber, I love you and will AIM you.

I know it’s really only been a few days and that I shouldn’t have ever expected this to be easy and all of that lovely stuff, but I cannot help but be depressed at the fact that, holycrap I have no stinking job. I’ve been sort of gradually e-mailing my resume (CV) around but finding an hourly rather than a salaried job is a lot harder than I had hoped. I just want to be working so I can get my stuff in order and move out of the hostel. Bah! While I intend to stay at ISH tonight (and hopefully tomorrow night) I’m going to book Sunday, Monday, and think about booking Tuesday at YHA York, from there I’m going to apply for some jobs obviously, in York. I’d rather not live in London if I can help it — everything costs a fortune! I was thinking of going to Manchester or Liverpool, but the hostels there were amazingly expensive or booked. I’ll visit there at some point, I’m going to have to break into my dollars reserve soon, which is a bit heartbreaking. Alternatively, I may stay in London and hold until I get my first interview. I don’t know — I’m feeling conflicted right now. Is it easier to voyage a bit, or to stay put, afterall, I do have a couple thousand kilos of luggage which I have to keep in mind. I’ll book another night at ISH I think, and then decide over the next few days.

I opened my bank account and activated my phone properly yesterday, so, calling to Canada costs me a tidy 5p a minute, making it 10 cents a minute. The cheapest distance plan I could find, and so I called Andrew, and home last night. It was so great to hear my three boys again! I miss them like crazy. Yesterday was similar to the day before, I went to BUNAC, I applied for a few jobs Kate and I wandered London, I went to the hostel and tried to sleep.

Actually, rather than sleep I watched ‘From Hell’ on Syd until my frenchroom mate came back to sleep. It was nice though, sitting there watching a movie and finishing off some of my plane treats. Finally, a relaxed evening even if I am stressing out about everything I still need to do. I think today I’m going to throw job hunting to the wind a bit and go to the British Museum, it’s open until 8 and has free admission, maybe I’ll get some good old fashioned fish and chips before I head in. I’ve eaten mostly sandwiches since I got here because they are cheap, but maybe splurging a bit on food will lift some of the OVERWHELMINGANGST. It’s not been that bad, I just want the security of knowing I’ll have an income soon.

So! This is what I’m going to do today, first, I’m going to apply for a few more jobs (new jobs on the board every day, it’s worth a try, even if I haven’t got a single reply yet), then, I’m going back to ISH and booking another day or two in case this York trip falls through. I can get my money back from them. From there, I’ll get me some fish and chips and hit the museum (I have to admit I’m really excited about this museum thing!) Then I will head back to the hostel and sleep, rise repeat for the next few days.

As a reply to my comments:

Amber, I am having a good time, see e-mails of love for details, however I hope my resume does not let me down, I would be very sad being the London panhandler! Maybe if I started a pie shop…

Melissa, I’m not sure if Staples misses me, how’s the new kid’s ESP rating? Or have they ESP slapped him yet? I think I had a three week grace period before I got ESP’d! And has Michelle taken down my dramatic closing ’10 Things I learned at Staples 304′ because I always assumed she would… The hostel is nothing fancy, but clean, which according to Kate makes a huge difference. Some of the chaps here are nice looking but they are mostly pretty average.

EMMADAWN!, I miss you lots, I still can’t believe it either if that helps anything… I cannot believe that I am writing this not at home, but in London, England. It’s really hard to fathom– alone, London, five-to-six months, ack! Once I have a flat I pretty much demand that you visit me, even if it costs all the money you’ve ever made I like to think my loving devotion is worth it. And as for the bloke, will do! P.S. I cannot actually comment on your facebook profile, know why? Because the word b-o-m-b is used on it, which is a screened word on the BUNAC internets. XD